Categorizing Members

[sadistic]

The facts of life are cruel, beloved gravonians. At the risk of sounding redundant, I reiterate; some are born with many gifts, while others get junk. I suggest that gravon implements 3 categories in order to rate each player's status. Forget the rankings, Sadistic has come to the rescue and made it simple. Next to each players name will be a number (1, 2 or 3). A ranking of number 1 is the highest level player. Conversely, a ranking of 3 is designated for the scrubs, derelicts, drifters and simpletons. Below I will list the criteria for each ranking.

Number 1 - A dastardly player that rarely gives his opponent an easy game. He is capable of beating anybody and is not dominated by any other player. He knows all the tricks of the game. He is familiar with many different scenarios and knows what to do in order to increase his odds of victory in each situation. When two #1 players go at it, it is simply a matter of luck as to who wins. When a #1 player takes on a #2 player, he will usually win unless a fluke of luck occurs. When a #1 player is pitted against a #3 player, it is damn near cruel. Rarely does the outcome of this game evade the odds.

Number 2 - A fairly skillful player who tends to make mistakes, particularly as the game goes into the later stages. His game is inconsistent. Sometimes he plays like a #1 player but when the opportunities are not in his favor, he lacks the refinement of a #1 player. He can be rattled quite easily into losing his composure. He does not have the assorted skills of a #1 player and cannot adapt quite as well to different situations that might arise. When he is on his game, he is capable of beating a #1 player. However, he usually will lose the game at some point when the #1 player pulls out that one critical move.

Number 3 - Usually a simple minded nitwit, he seems to have a propensity for finding ways to lose. Even in games when he is winning comfortably, he often falls flat on his face and blows it in truly embarrassing fashion. He often suffers from social, emotional and physical related problems. Hyperactive urination woes plaque his game and if he suddenly pauses during a game, it is fair to a$$ume that he has had one of these embarrassing outbreaks. I have played this type of player in a game that I was on the brink of forfeiting. He was up 2 power pieces (plus 3 other key pieces down the ranks), through a lottomania excursion. What did he do? The dipshit continued lottoing, losing his best pieces. I then began a mulching process, sending this genetic shitpile back down to the doldrums of his sickly existence. God, simply did not spend much time on this design and unfortunately it is mass produced. These are the rejects that you laugh at on a daily basis. They are the misfits that you curse at while they display their inferior mental capacity while driving automobiles. Unfortunately, these deficients have just enough to get involved with such things. They also find their way to internet sites like this, albeit in zombie-like fashion.

[z0mbie]

[acerimmer]

Time is short!

So I will simply say this: WELL DONE!

A good post.

I liked this post, although I have 5 categories for players.

I will list discriptions when I have more time.

Keep the good and humerous posts coming!

Ace

[-deleted594]

Sadistic I enjoyed the last criteria of a person's skills or lack there of. I too have encountered many that fit the description of number 3. Unfortuanately no help is in sight for those what didn't go right kind of people. The kind of people whose parents contemplate where did I go wrong? Another downside, gravon is attracting many at an unpresidented rate.

[sadistic]

2pac, there are two ways of looking at these genetic misfortunes. The first is with disdain. However, think of the situation on these terms as well; in a sense, it is a good thing that the world has an abundance of rejects, such as those with a rating of #3 at gravon. It is the relative comparison of them to us that defines our superiority. If the world were composed predominantly of those with higher intelligence than our own, we would be the source of common ridicule. As the world currently exists, we are at the top of the food chain and all that is expected of us is to tolerate these hapless fools with perhaps a reasonable amount of abuse when we feel the urge. It is not a bad world to live in, particularly when you throw in a good piece of a$$, every now and then (or more, when you are a superstar like I am).

[tableplay]

[sadistic]

Are you referring to the infamous "Hollow-Head" syndrome, tableplay? I admit, that one is a doozy, worthy of recognition.

[tableplay]

[sadistic]

Yes, it is true that Brassnikos is a notorious escapee. Surely, there is an institution somewhere that is searching for one of its residents.

[tableplay]

[sadistic]

We really could use an MRI machine at gravon. There are too many players suffering from head injuries without proper diagnosis and treatment. Brasnikos is merely a severe example. There are others out there as well, with perhaps less devastating symptoms than those which impede Bras' motor and mental functions. These players need diagnosis and treatment as well and who is to say that treatments cannot be fun for the doctor? Especially if he is Dr. Sadistic. Charge up the electro shock booster and watch that dipshit dance!

[tableplay]

[sadistic]

Beautifully written, tableplay. It seems I have a top nominee for a replacement "side kick" since the absence of the beloved, Dr. G. Marius. I am willing to implement any effective therapies as long as they include some inherent entertainment in their design. Hell, I deserve to have some fun jolting these son's of bitches.

In Brasnikos' case, I feel partially responsible for his low functioning condition. I gave that poor soul a hellish ass whipping a few months ago that he never recovered from. In my post game celebratory behavior, I failed to notice the emotional trauma that I caused this sickly, feeble foe. Perhaps, in some way, my devastation should exonerate Brass from the aftermath and his related poor behavior. He is certainly a top candidate for therapy, yet I feel that I am partially to blame. Maybe, just maybe, if I give him an extra, unprecedented dose of voltage, it will not only cure him more quickly but also erase the emasculation of which I am the cause. Some call this "killing 2 birds with one stone". I call it fun for the whole family.

[brass]

Since you said everything......... I will let you lovers alone, so you can play each other !!!
I am really sick and tired of you, Both.

[tableplay]